On my way down for our 19 East gig. Too bad I couldnt make it to witness the protest against the threat of cutting 182 trees in Baguio. I love that place. Thats where I wrote all these new songs and met really good people. Will figure something out tonight with Dakila Artist Collective and hopefully get help from environmentally conscious groups to converge. Before this streak of frequent visits, it was 1993 and it was still different. It smelled of pines and lesser smoke from motorists who cared about their contribution to clean air. Now its changed a lot, but it tries to keep itself intact by staying as green as possible. To push it to accelerated destruction thru lack of protection from natural disasters isn’t right. Remember Sendong, CDO and Illigan, remember Marikina and Ondoy, remember a summer in the City of Pines and remember that our heritage is represented and fueled by the existence of trees.
Traditional weaving from Kalinga, as a late birthday gift, keeping me company at 4 in the morning.
I think part and parcel of being a “social failure” is making friends with people who are either way older or younger than you. It’s most definitely not a bad thing – in fact, the past 3 weeks of trying very hard to remain sane and its somewhat success, was due to the help of some salt and pepper-haired friends. One of them who makes great schnapps for a living told me, “the secret really is if you cannot live alone, you’ll never be able to live with anyone.”
And the basic principle of letting everything take control of themselves, we have to adjust or at least acknowledge. Us control freaks who want to drive our direction and paths beyond the capacity of the structure to change, end up in earthquaked shells because we try too hard to fight the natural course of things, the intrinsic designs of life — that ironically, is also ever-changing as well as it is the blueprint that everyone is acquainted with.
A nudge here and there, but never a push or pull. If you intend to use force, ready yourself for consequences. 90 percent of the things that happen to us are all of our doing, only 10 percent belong to the moons we satellites orbit around. And if we build our lives on anything that is half of what we believe in, the pits won’t skip a beat from telling us why we were wrong in doing so.
Of course, there’s no denying that people are born with certain qualities that are hard to change, character types and disorders that will never seek distance from its roots and triggers. But this is why we have case studies, in the stories of our old friends, and past loves, belonging to a planet-full of philosophical mutants with inner galaxies. Real knows real, the truth may slide, but all waters lead to the ocean.
Admittedly, I’ve had contrasting and contradicting ideas about the supreme being because I think it’s just the Universe waging its finger, telling us what we haven’t accepted yet. Swim in deeper understanding for others, and let luck find its way. What goes around, comes around. This is what I’ve learned from sitting in a corner with 1 person, while the other half of the room celebrated life and the joys that company brought them.
Stealing studio hours,
Armi
Some 2 days ago I saw this photograph from a book I’ve ignored for the longest time. It sat beside an overhead projector which I had accidentally painted on with muted green acrylic.
And then last night I flipped a coin choosing between two films and ended up with the one where the photograph was taken from.
Been a while since something spoke to me in this fashion. I had never seen the golden hour my entire life the way it looked like yesterday. A cat literally gave birth above my head, noticed a colour I had been drawn to, after a year.
It seems we do not really waste away when we have nothing but a choice to make, because the time that is devoted to experience is the only milk for our wronged bones.
Nothing is ever that bland – anymore or never after can’t change that.
Why I decided to name this entry after my niece is beyond me. But perhaps it’s because she’s just adorbs like that.
Been a pretty good week so far, and safe to say this on a Thursday. Can’t wait ’til Friday and Saturday because I’ll be hunting for furniture all weekend. I have to be moved in before Wednesday next week, so I have to make it fast. I’m just excited. Therese Malonzo is doing my interiors and she will try to figure out what to do in that tiny, tiny space.
Ooh, before I forget, I must share this interview I did with SPOT.ph — it’s probably one of the best I’ve done in this lifetime. Kudos to Monica Barretto for that. I always think that the best interviews don’t always rely on the answers but the questions.
Anyhow I think I’ve to keep this short, I’m running late for work and dying to get a haircut. I want a shorter do! And I left my nice denim shorts at Bella Roca 
Sunday love, purple sun.
It’s been a hell of a week. I left with the boys for a wedding gig at Bella Roca last Thursday and had a lot of fun. Of course the much-talked about island has a lot to brag about, but then again I didn’t get to do much. My usual routine when we’re touring or gigging elsewhere is to really stay in the night and day of the performance.
I’m usually in the hotel room while the rest of the band get busy experiencing a new part of the map. But of course its to just make sure we come up with a good set. Many times I remember going out for a walk and coming back to the hotel without my voice, so I learned my lesson then and set some rules after that.
The trip back was something though. We took a chartered plane and developed a special connection with the barf bag a little after take-off.
Then we ran off to Megamall for that Earth Hour gig and then to Alabang for the San Mig Pub gig where we played I dunno, 12-13 songs? That’s something that hasn’t happened in years. Even our 1 hour sets contain 7-8 songs. But anyway, yeah we just did it for the love of. The crowd was great, it wasn’t too packed and cigarette-smokey so I really was in a good mood. Plus I was having a sugar rush from that green apple iced tea they gave me. LOVE IT.
Now it’s Sunday, I’m contemplating on getting a real phone again since mine got nicked at B-side. I even had a dream that I got it back last night. What to do. Dum dee dum.
Much to our dismay, Japan is still under stress, coping with everything including the meltdown. Two good friends of mine are still there. One of my best friends is still in Nagoya trying to find a way to drive down south away from Fukushima. Not nice of an opening, I know, but these are facts.
I had a good gig at Route 196 tonight. The people were great, though Paul had to skip tonight’s gig due to his cooties. Matt Warren of Ephesus was kind enough to take Paul’s spot and cover and even played some extra songs to please the crowd.
Ah, I miss Baguio. I miss Lady, Pablo, Axis that Wednesday night with Jaz and Zelimir, Kalaw and the people around it, plus plus. The other day I was just having flashbacks of how my day would be if I had decided to not take the studio job and get a life. I would be having coffee at 11 am in the cold weather with fresh flowers and listening to random music I don’t have to necessarily like too much; but look forward to a day that’s so calm and wait for an evening at Rumours, see Inyong, the nice bartenders there and Norma, the cashier. Lest we forget Andy who co-owns it with his partner — such a nice couple those two.
But this is me now, all for the sake of devoting my life entirely to music without worrying about the future too much (that it needs to be dealt with now). I’m having fun at work — that I wouldn’t really call it work so much — only if I lived a little closer. Everybody at Loudbox has been helpful and I wrote my first arrangement today, besides my first box casting and it seems to have made the cut, so I’m happy about those little victories.
Life really isn’t that peachy, but it can be if you put yourself somewhere you deserve to be. Trust that anything can happen and that if things don’t go so well, you’ve got yourself, and that’s more than enough company to get you through.
Looking forward to tomorrow,
Armi
Just got in, what a day. My friend Mackie Galvez (the guy behind the only photoshoot I’ve promoted like nuts to date) just turned 500. We had some bit of a lengthy catching up over wine after work — yes, work — but I’ll get to that later — and just hung out like we rarely would. Of course it was very last minute because I was on my way home when I realised that it was his birthday salubong/ and promised to show up.
Last I was with him was New Years Eve where we just drove from Manila to was that Pampanga, I don’t know really, but it was almost Baguio and I consumed a bag of Lay’s Barbecue Chips alone and some cream soda at a pitstop with a bus full of transients, some of them hugging pillows as they hopped off to the loo.
Mackie’s awesome, he’s like the Bamboo of DOP’s, really — you should get to know him.
So today was my third day of work, learning the ropes of sound engineering. I’m quite surprised that I actually like what I’m doing, besides the fact that I’m doing music still, and that it’ll help me reach at least one tier in my musicmanship, which is to be at the very least innovative and patient with the engineer when working on an album.
Ah this weekend will be fun. Another friend will be celebrating her birthday on Saturday, born the same day as Mackie, and will be at an orphanage for a short program. It’s a little too early for the night owl, but what can I say, it’s time for some change and lest we forget we’ve less than one year ’til 2012 that we must make the most out of it. Ya, and I chose to get a 9-5 job, right. Maybe my Nirvana truly is the corporate ladder.
But that’s friggin VETSIN compared to really dreading the work you do. Of course this entry will not end without an unsolicited advice for those who have the luxury of time to read and believe in the crap I launch here and there, which is to do what you love (or something that feels like it).
Anyhow I’m getting quite agitated with my cat right now. He’s either been in heat the last 3 years, or just really thinks I’m a cat and wants to make tiny cats. He has one ball by the way, so he can’t operate in that fashion though I just wish he’d stop because it’s not at all cute. Of course this is a charge against me since I raised him and he’s turned into such a pervert now without much effort. I’m also typing with one hand and petting him with the other. He’s pretty needy for a Sagittarius cat.
So I’ll hit the sack and probably blog tomorrow. I also just want to make use of my domain now that I think about it when I had paid for something totally useless. Will check it out tomorrow.
If I had one thing to say to 2011, it would be nevermind 2010. Actually 2009 was quite crappy, too. I acknowledge this because I’m optimistic about 2011. 2012 however, of course, remains in the void that is we might all die due to raining bolts of fire from the heavens and a more aggressive rage virus.
Honestly right now I could care less. I just want to go on and live whatever’s left of this life, make more music and cultivate the seeds I had planted these last couple of years. This includes the friendships I’ve sown, and weeding out the ones I had failed way before harvest time.
I’m also going to try and not give a whackadoo about things and people who have nothing helpful to say and do for me and those important to me. Big mouths are only holes to the deaf. Have a fantastic year ahead you all, and stay stitched in between your most intimate and real relationships. Those who refuse to treat you differently despite the obvious in your evolution as a human being, consider them your best nugget.
With much consistency as a good pancake batter, I always find myself writing here especially during Christmas. I believe it’s got a lot to do with looking forward to the new year.
And like every year, I like counting my blessings, the things I’ve lost and the things I’ve learned. This year I’ve met some really interesting people, have gone through rather “interesting” situations, a couple of disappointing predicaments but all in all if you realize that at the end of the year you can always try to be the better version of yourself, you’ll feel much better.
I’d like to thank everybody for being part of this journey the past year and even before that. It remains that the people who indeed prefer to stay as part of our lives (no matter how lousy you think it is and it’s genuinely affecting how it really is), just remain part of it because they want to.
No declarations, no strong goals, except to open up to what’s already there, explore greater heights and not find limits within rules that won’t hurt anyone anyway. Life is too short for regrets, that I can say. Being aware of the frailty of human character will always help determine how far we’ve come learning some things that took others never to learn.
Lets all be grateful and let’s live freely. Never let anybody tell you you will never fit in a certain social circle, and what not. If your emotional makeup and genetic code is toxic to others then don’t squeeze yourself in. Sometimes good company diffuses that. This dictation of where you best belong is not for anybody to judge. You leave where you’re not wanted and that is that. There are more forgiving people as well as people who will take advantage of you. There will always be 2 sides of the coin and it’s up to you to choose which one is more appealing to look at. For as long as your conscience is clear and you’re not hurting anyone, go right ahead.
No time to be self-righteous. I’m not perfect, none of us are. I’ve done a bunch of things I should regret, but I’ve realized how hard it is to move forward and it affects those who want to be part of my life. It’s not an easy exercise, mind you, but it’s doable.
I wish everyone all that they need. As well as the things they want.
Merry Christmas
Back in mid-2004 when the band started out, we had very low expectations of stirring the mainstream crowd’s interest. Record label executives turned us down and suggested that we needed to change the way we sound to get the attention that we want.
That wasn’t the best thing to tell a group who couldn’t do anything else. It also told us how hard it would be to even break in the business, but we tried anyway. At the time we had just met our manager, Toti Dalmacion and got signed under Terno Recordings, also with zero expectations. Come one day after the boys had passed on the newly recorded first single, “Maybe” to Kiko and Zach, we heard our first airplay. Something every band/artist will never forget.
This gave us a place to share our music. It told us that it was OK to be different, and that there is a frequency that people will tune into, no matter what. If you get played on that station, chances are one or two heads will bop to your tunes. People will listen because its a station that does what it’s set out to do and focus on the music, no matter how strange or obtuse you are. People started doubling during gigs when there used to be 3 slow golf-clappers with eyebrows raised, to more than I can count with the band’s fingers and toes combined.
NU remained our official radio station. It was the only station that played our songs for 2 years until others started picking up our music. Since I’ve heard of the news of it closing down, I couldn’t help but think to myself how things would’ve been if they hadn’t pressed Play. Enough to even include us in the Rock Awards from 2005 (thanks to the people behind that program In The Raw). The station just had so much to do with the growth of the band, if not most of the band’s growth depended on this radio station.
Coming from a place where it’s not easy to breakthrough, we’ve had our doubts as the industry got weaker after the big wave of bands in 2006 happened. You know how frail the entertainment industry is. Trends, they come and go. And the kiss of death is usually attached to a tad of recognition. So we thought we were going to plummet into oblivion until last year 2009 when NU gave us the 3 awards we never thought we’d ever win in this lifetime.
It gave us so much hope, and it gave us the stamp of approval that we never thought would see the light of day. This is why we’ll be forever grateful to the people behind NU. Because it really filled our low expectations with a lot of surprises and affirmation. Perhaps others don’t necessarily agree, but to most of us musicians, it still counts that a pillar in the music industry like NU recognizes you enough to even just play your songs.
Other than it being the constant source of music (circa 1994) as I ride with my brothers to school, it just says how big a role an institution like NU played in this generation. It might even take another hundred words to discuss, so I won’t go there. And besides, we ARE that generation still.
We will miss you and thank you SO much for the support, NU. To all the DJ’s and officials, in behalf of Up Dharma Down, we wish you the best.
