My thoughts about Valentine’s Day has changed from time-to-time. It started off with an anti-capitalist-no-to-crass-commercialism movement, to a whimpering that it’s another christmas missing the color green (which is the best part of christmas to me), or that we need to look at population density and stop making babies completely, but alas, credit to having aged a year more, I have mellowed enough to give everyone a break and stop the hateorade from flowing. It does work out for the better and a lot of people get to be happy and feel loved for one night in February.
I actually don’t have that much of a problem with it, it gives people pass when to expect a spike in their respective love life charts because that’s one day in the year they are SURE it could happen, and and the same way, people who have always wanted to express their feelings get another 364 days to prepare when their plans fall through. Absolutely no problem with that. I just think what we need to do is to apply a bit of adjustment or adapt to a rewiring of sorts.
If you have a problem about giving your money to the big corporate business practitioners, then make your gifts. There have been small independent shops you can search for online, from origami flowers to just googling recipes and cooking a special dinner for that special someone. That would surely kick the petals off an expensive bouquet you might have bought in an over-priced store. Go to Dangwa or Dimasalang to get cheaper flowers by the bulk. You also get to help out small businesses that have been around for years — businesses that have actually become a family heirloom long before these malls started popping up.
It would surely be nice for us women if men realized that the point to all this is for us to feel loved and appreciated. I mean, how many of us really do this in the name of St. Valentine? I would joke about a number and say 3 women consciously think about the poor old saint, but that would be a huge estimate. Why not give women something to look forward to everyday? I’m not saying flowers every morning would be demanded of men, (though I honestly don’t mind waking up to flowers everyday) but the rewards will be priceless. Give her a flowering plant, for chrissakes. Do that in her backyard if she has one. Name it after yourself and see if she can take care of a plant. You know what they say, if you can’t take care of a plant, you most likely can’t take care of a man. And I can say that because I have a pet onion. And the condition it is in, is a little embarrassing. Go figure.
Also, don’t forget your mothers and fathers. In similar cases where our parents have given up remembering one another after 30 years of trying to make each other happy and have failed due to fair and equal reasons they both have, lets remind these two that they would be delighted to know. Its “apparently, we have done a bit of good in the child-rearing sector”. There’s nothing like a thoughtful progeny. It might even remind dad that there’s more to mom than breakfast and remind mom that dad doesn’t get paid enough to drive you to school and her to the supermarket thanks to you. There will be better music in the car and even better dinner.
Sometimes you just need to remind us women that you have your own thing going, coming up with something and know it won’t take much from you. Its paying the ‘idea’ forward and spreading the conscious change amongst ourselves, male or female and our friends or shall we say, community. More people in general will understand that a time for love should not be dictated by societal pressures. This means your right to CHOOSE what works for you as an individual (and the people you love) diminishes the more you follow these dictations especially when you do not take a conscious effort to create a norm for yourself. You can definitely celebrate anything all year and create special times for yourself and your partner. You can teach your kids this, and they will thank you for it if you live long enough to see them date.
The results will be worth so much (and there is more truth in that than lies). Also for men, the pressure can be taken off of that one night where it’s make or break. Instead, it is spread throughout the year (think russian roulette!!!). Kidding aside, if there is something you would do and you know that is good, wouldn’t you like to see sudden bouts of that good in random, if you can’t expect it every day from yourself? We start from random until we build a habit around it. And if we build a habit of doing random good things, there will be more random acts of kindness around us. It’s this hashtag I’ve been using since yesterday #360. One good idea and one good thought you can do however many times you want over, to turn this place around. No, it isn’t a grander delusion or my version of changing the world, because the world changes with or without us. It will spin on its own. When we are long dead. Let’s not think for one second that we are all THAT important, although we are in a very human way, the smartest of all apes. Its all about doing something that starts with one and tips over the usual, for a change. Flip it over.
We have to apply proactivity when we want to change something. Having come from a place where the norm has presented itself in a ‘bottle of poison,’ I have decided to try the very black potion and take it from the inside. It helps see things from a different perspective, but only for a short while. You grow bitter and you cease to grow better, saying no to the norm but not creating one that is truly yours and for the better. Looking at this after several years of testing different ideas to find a mold for the animal fat I carry in my hips, made me realize all meaning stops when you put a halt into a gesture that was never intended for the bad. What we should do is extend that gesture into something bigger. Always something bigger when we see that there’s more people being happy with the idea of making others happy. Do you see this?
I am almost never inspired to talk this way about mankind. But to isolate this one case, there is a button that gets pressed every time I see a happy girl flaunting her bouquet, carrying the sweetest man as her most treasured ‘accessory.’ There becomes a comparison between her smiles and the lonesome one; but there is also just plain happiness. And happiness is a decision we put upon ourselves. Happiness is a skill I wish I myself knew more of, but to get to know more of it we have to stop generalizing where it should or shouldn’t come from.
During one of those Route 196 gigs in 2010, I met a young woman who told me she was there to celebrate her 3 years of being single. I initially thought she was bonkers, (and I love ‘crazy people’) but there is that bit of mad perspective she had in her to celebrate the good things about being single. Besides, what does being in a relationship got on being single when you feel more alone than the fact that you actually have company? There are many ways of looking at these heart problems and one of them is to see things from a perspective that is not ours. That was not my perspective, but I look at hers every so often. I believe she was a whole lot younger than I in cat years, but truth be told, she must be one of the wisest acquaintances I’ve ever encountered.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a spill-over of months of not blogging. Doing it for quality and not for quantity’s sake. I have refrained from being superstitious and holding on to auspicious dates, but after all the Chinese New Year was just here. We can definitely restart and take the resolution to March if the two new years didn’t quite pan out the way they were expected to. Do you realize the pressure you leave on the dates? They must be in so much pressure if only they could complain and move the holidays, they probably would. To be honest, I really wonder what Jesus truly thinks about Christmas.